i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
