My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
