I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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