Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
