I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's never too late to be topless.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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