i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
