As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
