They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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