I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize