ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
