Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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