oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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