TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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