plz talk dirty to me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
