Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
