He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
