What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I wish there were birth control emojis
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
