We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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