4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
