I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
