i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
