hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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