I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
