I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
