please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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