I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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