On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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