They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
