dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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