I want to stick my p in your. b.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
