My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
