oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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