how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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