hell yes lets make some ravioli
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize