dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
