It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
a search helicopter?!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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