I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
