the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
