I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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