their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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