There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's rum buckets o'clock
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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