I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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