I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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