He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
