so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
