2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize