Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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