apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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