You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
