nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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