Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
