i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
