I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Damn victory sex feels great
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
