maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
