I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
