@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
