yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
