i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
