As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
