ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
