I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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